When Eczema Attacks

Also known as, "So I was wrong about that teething thing."

We (Jake and I) have determined that Camille's sudden crankiness is not because of teething. We can't feel any teeth under her gums, for one thing, and for another, her back is the color of a steamed lobster.

Jake took one look at her back and said, "Yep, eczema."

She got a bunch of eczema-friendly lotion slathered on her back, and she's currently in nothing but a diaper. Jake's holding her up so she doesn't have to rub her back against anything. So far, she's been happy and babbling as usual. I don't know what we're going to do when it's bedtime, though...

Teething?

Camille is normally a very good nighttime sleeper. She'll wake up a couple of times for eats, but she makes virtually no noise and after she's eaten, she goes right back to sleep.

Not last night.

Last night, she cried when we put her to bed. Then she fell asleep for about an hour, and woke up and cried some more. I fed her and she fell asleep. Then she woke up a couple hours later and cried. Then fell asleep. Then cried. And so on and so forth, until 8:30 this morning, when she woke up and was all giggly as usual.

Meanwhile, I'm still splattered to the bed, because 2-hour stints of sleeping apparently don't do anything for  a chipper morning.

The only way to get her to stop crying in a timely manner is to hold her and stand up and rock her. She'll fall asleep soon thereafter, so that's what I did about five times last night. During one of these rocking bouts, I thought about why Camille might suddenly be a bad sleeper.

The obvious answer is "she must be teething." I mean, she's five months old. She should be growing teeth, right? Everyone says teething pain is worst at night so babies who were usually good sleepers become not-good sleepers. But try as I might, I can't feel any teeth below her gums. Maybe I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling for.

Here's hoping that the nighttime crying fits don't last long.

edit: This is my 200th post! I didn't commemorate my 100th because the idea just didn't occur to me, and I didn't do the 200th (on time) because I forgot. Oh well. Here's to 200 posts, and to 200 more!

Five Months Old

My peanut is five months old!

In the past month, she's seemed to have grown sooooo much. She "talks" more, and will carry on a conversation with you if you talk back to her. She can push up on her hands and sit up by herself for a few seconds. And she thinks she's a dinosaur.

Here are some pics of her adventures this past month!

"I has a feet."

"I has anudder feet."

Naked butt baby.

Dear Utah Motorists,

I've been driving in the great snowy state of Utah for over a year now, so I think I've been here long enough to have earned the right to bitch about some of the less-than-savory driving practices I've observed. Due to my experience driving in as many places as I have - Utah, Florida, California, Texas, Nebraska, Georgia, Missouri, Illinois, England, and an undisclosed location in the Middle East - I think I can safely say I've seen a whole lot of different driving situations. Utah doesn't have the worst drivers, but it definitely has the most perplexing ones.

Nobody Cares

I've spent all morning going through a site called EtiquetteHell.com. I was mostly there for stories of bridezillas,

THESE ROSES AREN'T LIPSTICK RED, THEY'RE FIRE ENGINE RED!!
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY WEDDING!??!!?

but they have sections for etiquette nonsense from every situation that a normal person could run into. I saw one entitled "Baby Showers," and I had to read it.

Sick Again

Jake is like a preschooler. He keeps getting sick at work or school, and he brings it home and makes me sick. Camille, so far, has been impervious.

The symptoms are as follows: nausea, vomiting (in Jake's case, not mine), muscle aches, headache, fever, cough, and the inability to stand for long periods of time. When I stand too long, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Sometimes Camille will get squirrely and will only be happy when I'm holding her while standing. Last time I was sick, she was grumpy all day, so I had to switch between standing and getting ever more lightheaded, and sitting down and listening to her scream.

It was a great day.

It seems like every month this whole sickness thing occurs. So I've informed Jake that he needs to find out who keeps making him sick, so I can go to their house and beat the fuck out of them to keep them home. it's just inconsiderate to go to school or work while sick, because then you make everyone else sick, and they take it home and make their family sick, and then their wife finds out where you live and takes a metal pipe to your knees. It could all have been avoided if you had just stayed home.

Movie Thoughts

I'm not an especially complicated person when it comes to movies. Jake would probably tell you that I have bad taste in movies, but I really don't; I just happen to believe the commercials and pick shitty movies to go see.

Like Shutter Island.

And Wolfman.

If you haven't seen either of those, don't waste your time. They both suck, and critics be damned.

I'm pretty picky when it comes to effects. I can handle SFX that aren't the tops, but I can't abide by lazy editing. For example, if two people are talking to each other and the camera angles from behind each of them, it annoys me when one person has their arms crossed, and then when the angle flips to the other camera, their arms are no longer crossed. Lazy editing. I'm sure the editor, while putting the scene together, thought to him or herself, "Who's going to notice or care?"

Well, Mr. Editor, I noticed. And I care.

I also pay attention to plot, and I get really annoyed when impossible (I can handle implausible) things happen. In A-Team when Murdock is flying a C-130 and he does a barrel roll in it... yeah that wouldn't happen in real life. In real life, that C-130 would have fallen like a giant metal stone out of the sky and smashed into a million pieces. Don't even get me started on the flying tank and the (unaddressed) homicide of a German fishslaughterer.

The movie The Unborn was supposedly about a girl who was haunted by the ghost of her twin brother who had died in the womb. Excellent premise for a scary movie. I love scary movies (not zombie movies), and I'm a complete wimp at the same time, so I'll watch them and then have oodles of nightmares. But I watch them anyway. What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment.

The Unborn was, frankly, a giant disappointment as far as scary movies go. The plot made absolutely no sense and everything that occurred was both predictable and boring. I fell asleep while watching it. No nightmares. I'd suggest watching it only if you want to witness the worst scary movie debacle in recent movie history.

I often sit and watch movies on Netflix during the day, and I comment on them to Camille. She doesn't understand English yet, though, so my comments are mostly unappreciated. I watched Legion for the first time today, mostly because I love watching movies based (usually loosely) on Christian mythology. Legion was what I expected, so even though it was kind of a bad movie, it wasn't a letdown. After telling Camille that childbirth doesn't last only 10 minutes, nor is the mother able to get up afterward, prance around, and run from Archangels (also, I'm jealous of how quickly she got her figure back), Camille just looked at me.

So I've decided to start commenting on movies here. Not that Camille isn't a great listener (she's not) but she sucks at conversation on account of that whole being 5 months old thing.

I should warn any prospective readers that I love campy, cheesy movies, so you'll probably see a bunch of those in review. Sci-Fi is my favorite genre, so if you don't like aliens and mad scientists, see ya!

The Thropp of Munchkinland

Camille has grown more hair! Yay!

However, her new hair has decided to do a little flip up on top, the result being that she looks like a member of the Lollipop Guild.

"Weeee wish to welcome you to Munchkinlaaaand!"

What's with the one on the right? He has frickin' horns!

I was always suspicious of the Munchkins. I'm pretty sure they killed the Wicked Witch of the East and while they were dragging her away to bury her, Dorothy's house happened to land on top of her. They found the perfect scapegoat to blame the WWotE's death on so the Wicked Witch of the West wouldn't perform a crazy beatdown on them. And their brilliant plan worked! Crafty midgets.

My Very Own Creepy Stalker

I was recently introduced to a website called Creepers Who Text, which is simultaneously hilarious and... well, creepy.

Velocibaby II

Camille has taken her dinosaur phase to the next level. Specific to her velociraptor heritage, she has started to use her toenails to gouge various things.

Like my stomach. (No picture of that damage, since I'm still wiggly in the tummy area and therefore not willing to post pics of it on the Interweb.)

And her own feets.

She hasn't gained full control of her toenail power yet, and her own skin suffers the consequences!

I trimmed her nails. Her velocibaby powers are diminished... for now.

Uh La La

I has a baby food maker.

Ta daaaaa.

My mommy got it for me. Thanks, Mom!

Apparently, it's big in Europe (France).

It steams, purees, defrosts, reheats, slices*, dices**, and can cut through a penny!***

I can't wait to try it out! I haven't had the opportunity to use it, which is code for "it's raining and I don't want to go to the store and get all wet."

* Not really.
** This either.
*** It might do this, but I don't want to try because that would probably void the warranty.

Rectal Treasure Cache

My mom e-mailed me an article from the newspaper in my hometown. Apparently, a homeless dude was arrested (the article doesn't say what for because that is not the important part) and sent to jail.

Those of you who have never been to prison before* probably aren't aware that they don't just stick you in a jail cell; you have to go through a little bit of an entrance process before you can enjoy your new cell and roommate/wife. One of the processes you have to endure is a cavity search. Yes, people, they pull your butt cheeks apart and inspect your rect(um).

When this homeless man had his rectal inspection performed, the police found quite a bit of contraband up his anus. The contents of his ass, all contained in a condom, are as follows:

17 round blue pills,
1 cigarette,
6 matches,
1 flint,
1 empty syringe with an eraser over the needle (safety first!),
1 lip balm container,
1 unused condom,
1 receipt from CVS pharmacy, and
1 paper coupon.

I know what you're wondering, and you should know that I'm wondering the same thing:

What's the coupon for?!

*I've never been to prison, either, but when I was in the military, one of the bases I was at thought it would be a good idea to take all of their new airmen on a tour of the base jail and regale us with tales of the horrific things you have to endure upon arrest. Presumably this was to deter us from committing crimes. It didn't work.

Camille's Valentine's Hat

OK, so it isn't exactly Valentine's-themed. But it's red! And that's all that matters, right?

Right?

There is also a matching diaper cover with a tail on it. But I made it too small for her badunka dunk.

Brayn Wurkun

I spent the better part of this Sunday laundering everything in the house that Camille comes into contact with.

I had to use special perfume and dye free detergent so as not to aggravate her eczema.

I just realized I forgot the sheets in her crib.

Blaaaahhhhhfffppptthhhhttttt.

The Dreaded "E" Word

Camille went to the doctor today.

I know, she seems to be going all the time lately. But I'm seriously not a hypochondriac, I swear. She had a rash all over her little arms and legs!

Lots of Creepy Fun

If you have a blog on blogger.com, do yourself a favor and go to your Edit Layout screen.

At the far right of the tabs at the top, there is one that says "Stats." Do it.

This is a fun page. I normally use it strictly to see how much traffic I've had, but today I thought it would be fun to take a look at the specifics of the page. I got a little creeped out.

Velocibaby

Camille's newest favorite noise to make is a roar-growl-grunt (that is not indicative of pooping). I think she's going through her dinosaur phase. If she starts stalking me and gnawing on my Achilles' tendon, she's grounded.

I Was Almost a Fish Murderer

I guess it's not murder when it's an accident. But what do you call yourself if you're guilty of manfishslaughter? A FishSlaughterer? That doesn't quite roll off the tongue like "murderer."

My aquarium sports 10 fish and 3 snails. The snails are there on purpose, have pretty shells, and eat algae like it's made out of chocolate. They don't make nasty snail-love and populate my tank with thousands of snail babies.

What the Superbowl is Good For

Huhhhh haaaaa absolutely nothing!

Stories From My Childhood, Part Four

Also known as, "Why you should always listen to your mother."

In my childhood home, we had a coil top stove.

Like so.

Things That Annoy Me

Americans who spell like Brits.

"Colour" instead of "color."

"Flavour" instead of "flavor."

Four-Month Doc Appointment

We had Camille's 4-month appointment today! It was originally supposed to be on the 16th, but she has a rash under her neck that was bothering Jake and I. At first we were like, "Whatever, it's just a rash from all her drool getting stuck under her chin," but then on Sunday, I noticed that it was bleeding.

Eeeeeeeeeeee!

Camille vs a Cracker

And no, not a person of European ancestry.

"I sure do love mayonnaise!"

But rather, a thin, crisp biscuit.

Specifically, a brand called Baby Mum-Mum.

This was the result of giving her a mum-mum:

Simple Things Every English-Speaking Human Should Already Know

English is a hard language. One of the most difficult languages - if not the most difficult language - on Planet Earth. It is made difficult by its plethora of rules, and each rule's many exceptions. It's also a happy conglomeration of many other languages, which makes spelling a nightmare. There is a reason that Spelling Bees only occur in English; in other languages, their spelling makes sense.

This kid thought the guy was saying "numbnut."

This said, there is still no excuse to speak and write your native tongue like you're a developmentally-challenged 3rd-grader. (Obviously, this post doesn't apply to people who speak English as a second language. In fact, I'm impressed by your tenacity in sticking with our crazy language long enough to pick it up.) It really isn't that hard, people, especially with my handy-dandy "Idiot's Guide to English" that I'm about to lay out for you all.

Note: all of the definitions were looked up at www.dictionary.com. The example sentences came out of my own noodle and may or may not be inappropriate for young children, elderly citizens, or Catholics.


Here and Hear

Here, meaning "in this place." For example, "The Catholic priest touched me right here."

Hear, meaning "to perceive by the ear." For example, "Did you hear Miley Cyrus's new song? It made my ears bleed!"

Differentiating between here and hear is relatively easy. Hear has the word ear in it, and therefore should be easy to pinpoint as the one that involves ears.


Your and You're

Your, meaning "belonging to you." For example, "I've got my eye on your race-car bed."

You're, which is a contraction of the two words you and are. For example, "There is no way you're going to get my race-car bed."

You're is a contraction, so it's easy to differentiate between these two. If you are makes sense in the sentence, then go with you're. If it doesn't, go with your. The sentence "I've got my eye on your race-care bed" doesn't make any sense if it read, "I've got my eye on you are race-car bed," so clearly the correct choice is not you're.


There, Their, and They're

There, meaning "in that place." For example, "I think I see a yak over there by those Swedish tourists."

They're, which is a contraction of the two words they and are. For example, "They're teasing the yak. This does not bode well."

Their, meaning "belonging to them." For example, "Their Swedish guts are all over the place due to that yak-stomping."

There has here in it. Therefore, you can see that they're both location words. Keep this in mind when we discuss where, which also has here in it.

They're (and all contractions, really) is easy to figure out because you just break it up. In any case where saying "they are" would be appropriate, you fill it in with they're. The sentence "Do you think we should help the paramedics pick up they're Swedish body parts?" is incorrect, because if you split they're up in to they and are, that sentence makes no sense.

Their, being the final word in this group, can be figured out if you just eliminate the other two.


Where, Wear, Were and We're

Where, meaning "in or at what place?" For example, "Where is Waldo?"

Wear, meaning "to carry or have on the body." For example, "Waldo is the guy who wears the red and white shirt."

Were, which is the past tense of the word "are." For example, "We were looking for Waldo yesterday, but we didn't find his sneaky ass."

We're, which is a contraction of the two words we and are. For example, "We're going to pound Waldo's dorky face in when we find him."

Where, as I mentioned before, has here in it, and therefore is in the locational words group (here, there, where).

We're, as with all contractions, is discerned by breaking it up:  we are. If that makes sense in the sentence, then you go with we're.

Wear and were are just going to have to be memorized, I'm afraid. The only way I have to remember these two is kind of weird, so it might work for you or it might not. Wear has ear in it, and you wear your ears on your head. Were is when you eliminate the other options.


Its and It's

Its, meaning "belonging to it." For example, "That squirrel buried its nuts under the tree."

It's, which is a contraction of the two words it and is. For example, "I stole the squirrel's nuts and now it's really pissed."

OK, nothing drives me more bananas than when people use apostrophes out of context, especially when they use apostrophes in pluralizing.

As with all contractions, it's can be identified as correct when you break it down. Does it is make sense? Then you use it's. If not, you use its.


Our and Are

Our, which is the possessive of we. For example, "That's our Justin Bieber CD."

Are, the plural present conjugation of the verb "to be." For example, "Are you seriously claiming ownership of a Justin Bieber CD?" or "Yes, we are seriously claiming ownership of a Justin Bieber CD."

To understand these two words, you need to understand the English conjugation grid for the irregular verb "to be."

I am stinky.
He/she/it is stinky.
We *are stinky.
They *are stinky.

And also possession:

My pony.
His/her/its pony.
*Our pony.
Their pony.


Two, Too, and To

Two, the number. Also written as 2. For example, "There are two delicious cupcakes in the kitchen."

To has many definitions, most of which indicate a movement toward something. For example, "I'm going to the kitchen and eating me a delicious cupcake."

Too, meaning "also." For example, "I'll go to the kitchen and eat a delicious cupcake, too."

To is the easy one. Most people confuse two and too.

Too becomes easy when you remember that it means "also." In the word too, it has one O and also another O.

Two has a W (double-U) in it. In a double-U, there are two Us. Two. I feel like the Count. TWO! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Then and Than

Then, meaning "at that time." For example, "I pimp-slapped the ho, and then she gave me the money."

Than, which is used after comparative adjectives and adverbs to introduce the second member of unequal comparison. For example, "My ho earns more money than your ho does."

Then is a time-based word. It's almost the same as when (just substitute the T for a W). That should clue you in that then should be used when discussing time-based things.

Than is used in comparisons, which have nothing to do with time.


Shudder and Shutter

Shudder, meaning "to tremble with sudden convulsive movements." For example, "Thinking about Sarah Palin being elected President makes me shudder with horror."

Shutter, meaning "a solid our louvered movable cover for a window." For example, "If she gets elected, I'm going to shutter all my windows and move to Australia."

I don't really have a good way to remember this one, but I always see people say they're "shuttering with fear." No, you're not.


Flammable and Inflammable

Flammable, meaning "easily set on fire." For example, "If you roll in gasoline, you become extremely flammable."

Inflammable, meaning "easily set on fire." For example, "If you roll in gasoline, you become extremely inflammable."

That's right, folks, they're the same thing. Inflammable does not mean "not flammable." Now you know, so stop using it as such.


Ain't is a Word

I remember being a kid and singing the taunt, "ain't ain't a word and you ain't gonna say it!" Well, seven-year-old me, ain't is indeed a word, and I am going to say it.

Ain't is the contraction for the two words "am not." Think about it. If we follow conventional English contraction rules, "am not" would become "amn't." Try saying it. It's weird, huh?

For the phrase "I am not," most people will use the contraction, "I'm not" because saying "I amn't" is just ridiculous.

Enter ain't. It's easier to say than amn't, even if it is normally only used by the uneducated or in colloquial speech. It's rarely written except to make a character's dialect sound less educated or (according to dictionary.com) more Southern. I think dictionary.com is saying Southerners are stupid. I resent that!

So the next time you say "ain't" and someone gives you hell for it, simply explain that ain't is the contracted form of the phrase am not, and that you were simply engaging in colloquial speech. That ought to shut them right the fuck up.


So there you go. That's my crash course in common English misspelled words n' shit. The Oatmeal has many informative blog posts on various grammar issues, including how to use a semicolon, how to use apostrophes, when to use i.e., and common misspellings (many of which are the same as mine but he has a couple more than I forgot about, like weather and whether).

A Message to Pregnant Ladies, Part I

I'm in rare form today, I know. Three posts?! When I should be studying for my first Physiology midterm that is tonight?! Priorities might be a bit skewed, but I've been meaning to get this post written for a while and I finally remembered to do it today.

So, while I was pregnant, I was hellbent on having a 100% all-natural birth. If Jake and I didn't live in an apartment, I probably would have tried to have a home birth with a midwife (Jake probably would have protested). I wanted to have my birth exactly how I wanted: no drugs (or pressure to have drugs), no c-section (or pressure to have a c-section), food and drink if I wanted, no IV even for saline, permission to walk around as much as I wanted, and the ability to labor how I damn well felt like laboring. I had read all these books and websites that painted a picture of obstetrics and L&D medicine like this:

The doctors will pressure you to do this or that, and the nurses will belittle you and be total bitches, they'll try to sneak an epidural into your spine or Pitocin into your IV, blah blah blah.

I'm normally a very non-confrontational person. I'll think wicked thoughts but I won't say anything to someone who pisses me off. Usually. But this whole birthing thing was a different story. I was ready to go to the hospital in all my angry-pregnant-laboring-totalbitch glory and lay down the law in my L&D suite like I was the dictator of Labor Land.

Also, I was ready to hand out my birth plan with cookies so the attending nurses and OBs might actually read them (because I had been assured by anti-medical websites that they would take my birth plan and drop it in the toilet and take a big dumpie on it).

When I actually began childbirth (not the hard part yet, the early easy stages) and I went to the hospital (Sunday morning), I was greeted with an awesome nurse whose first question was, "OK, how do you want to do this?"

When I said I wanted to do it naturally and could she please fetch me a birthing ball, she said, "No epidural? Awesome! You can do it!" And she promptly got me a birthing ball (which wasn't as awesome as I had been led to believe).

That nurse was with me until the end of her shift several hours later, and every time she came in to check on me (about once an hour, since I wasn't hooked up to the constant fetal monitoring), she offered encouragement for me to continue the natural path I was on. It wasn't hard at this point, because the pain was at a 3, maybe 4. It was still a breeze.

The nurse that took over after First Awesome Nurse left wasn't as awesome but was still pretty cool.

The entire time I was there, no one pressured me to do anything. I stopped progressing after about 5cm and the attending OB mentioned Pitocin, and I declined. She said "OK" and that was that.

There was no talk of a c-section. After I said no to the Pitocin, they didn't ask me about it again. No one pushed the epidural on me. In the thick of hard labor, when I could do little more than scream and try to break Jake's hand, one of the nurses asked if I wanted [some kinda medicine] to help take the edge off of the pain. I was lucid enough to ask what it was, and she told me but I don't remember the name. I asked it it was like an epidural, and she said no, and I said, "GIVE IT TO ME."

I don't know what it was, but they may as well have given me a baby aspirin. It did NUFFINK.

So if you're pregnant and have been told by all kinds of books and websites that doctors and hospitals are evil and they'll try to do all kinds of shit you don't want done, I'm here to tell you that's totally untrue.

When you're going to school for nursing (even something as lowly as a CNA, which I am, by the way) there is a huuuuuuuge emphasis on patients' rights. CNA training seemed to me to be aimed mostly at caring for people in a nursing home, and you are constantly reminded that they will decline medication and care and food, even against their doctor's wishes. It's their right to decline whatever they want to decline, even if what they're declining is keeping them alive.

It's the same in a hospital. If they want to give you Pitocin and you say no and they give it to you anyway, you can sue the bejesus out of them. You could decline an emergency c-section, too, and they wouldn't be allowed to wheel you kicking and screaming into the operating room. They'd probably have you sign a liability release that absolves them from responsibility if you and/or your baby die, though.

Doctors make decisions based on the favorability of the outcome. They'll choose the less-risky option if it means a better survival rate, even if that's not what you want. They're looking out for their best interests by looking out for your best interests. Even if a doctor is evil and doesn't care about human life (as some of these books and websites would have you believe), they'll still try their best to keep you alive because if you die, that doctor is going to be up to his ears in malpractice lawsuits. It's not their fault; it's the fault of the lawsuit-happy assclowns that sue people for breathing too hard. Doctors have a lot of medical school loans to pay off, and if they get sued every week, they're going to have a hard time surviving.

My advice to soon-to-be moms is this: be straightforward with your OB. Know what you want and don't want, and tell him or her. Hope for the best but plan for the worst. If your baby is in distress, are you willing to risk a vaginal birth, or are you OK with deviating from your plan and having a c-section? Prepare for an unmedicated birth, because the epidural doesn't always work. Be in control, and make sure your partner knows what you want so they can advocate for you. Be respectful to the nurses and doctors, but don't let anyone walk all over you.

It's your birth, so have it your way! But even if you can't have it exactly how you want, remember that the only criteria for a successful birth is to have yourself a healthy baby at the end of it. How you get there isn't all that important in the end.

Project Flatten Dumbo Ears

Or "PFDE" for celerity's sake.

A little while ago, I posted up Camille's 3-month portraits. My mom called me that day.

"Taylor, Camille's headband is on upside-down."

I know. I noticed it was upside-down right after we'd finished the shoot. I would have flipped it over and asked for a few new pics, but Camille was already done by that point and was very nearly naked (it was hot in the studio because of the lights). I thought to myself, "Oh well, no one will probably notice but me."

-_-

My mom called me again a couple days ago and said, "I was looking at her pictures again, and I noticed that the headband makes her ears stick out!"

That's not the headband. Her ears just stick out. They didn't always stick out, as you can see by looking at these pictures:

A month old or so. 6 weeks max.
Normal ears.

Probably like 2 1/2 months.
Sticking out a little.

4 months.
BLAM! Dumbo.

Jake believes her ear sticking-outingness is caused by her ears folding over when she turns her head while lying down. I kept telling him it wasn't that, but now I'm not so sure. We started to have her wear a headband that holds down her ears, in the hopes that maybe it will correct the problem.

I think it makes her look like Aunt Jemima.

Hello, February

Let me begin this post by stating that everywhere I've lived (and that's been a lot of places), February is always the shittiest month of the year. I've only ever lived north of the equator, though, so maybe February is totally tits Down Under. I need to jet my happy ass down there some time, if for no other reason than to flush a few toilets.

To prove my "crappiest month" hypothesis, it happens to be the windiest day so far this winter. Now all we need is some icky freezing rain and some fog, and it's the Crud Month Trifecta!

Aaaaanyway, today is a special day. No, it's not just the start to the most asstastic month on the calendar. It's also mine and Jake's anniversary!

The first anniversary is paper. So I just got Jake a card. We went to dinner Saturday night and stuffed our faces full of hibachi. We'd go to dinner tonight but I have class. Boo!

Camille began February by taking the biggest poop she's ever worked up this morning. I swear, this diaper weighed more than she does. O_o