Snow Adventures

We've been meaning to take Wormie tubing for a while, but just never got around to it until today. She had a blast!

We forgot her sunglasses, so she had the sun in her eyes
the whole time.

Taking a ride to the sledding hill.

Jake and Wormie getting ready to
come down the hill.

She lay there like a slug. It was her only defense.

She fell off the tube and face-planted in the snow.
She was not happy.

Riding down the hill with daddy!

We thought for sure she'd fall asleep in the car, but she didn't. She just blabbed on and on. She gets mad at her sippy cup when she can't suck anymore liquid out of it, so that's what the screaming's all about.

I gave her a tissue for her runny nose. She ripped it up
and put it on top of her head. Classy!

You're All Liars

When people see Wormie, they tell me, "I can really see you in her. She looks like you."

They're all a bunch of goddamn liars.

Jake's mom found some of his baby pictures and she gave them to me. I don't think I need to explain why I think everyone lies to me about Wormie. Take a look.

Those are all Jake!

Here's some of Wormie so you can compare.

They look like the same person. I'm about to accuse Jake of impregnating me with his clone.

Jake makes fun of Wormie's pseudo-mullet all the time, and as you can see, he had the same hair when he was a baby. We now have photo evidence that the mullet is his fault!

Diet: Day Four

128.2 lbs.

I never realized until this diet how much I don't like most fruits. They're too sweet. I know, that sounds crazy coming from a chocolate addict, but it's the truth. I bite into these fruits and I almost can't swallow. Too sweet. Can't handle it.

The fruits I do like do weird things to my tongue. I'm talking about pineapple mostly, because pineapple is delicious, and everyone likes pineapple. OK, that's not entirely true. There are people who don't like pineapple. I think they're called Al Qaeda.

Anyway, if I eat too much pineapple, it burns my tongue and my taste buds start to peel off. It's nasty. The same thing happens with kiwi. A single kiwi fruit will render my tongue taste bud-less. I don't know what the deal is.

I'm still hungry, even after stuffing my face with the most sickeningly sweet fruits I can handle. I also have a headache that started yesterday morning and won't go away.

I took a Chemistry quiz last night. The first quiz I took (last week or so), I got a 100% on the first try. This quiz I missed two problems, even with notes right there in front of me. My brain will not function. I knew what I needed to do, but I couldn't do it. It was kind of like the physio training I had to do in the AF. They put you in a decompression chamber and suck the air out of the room to simulate being unpressurized at high altitudes. Then they take away your oxygen mask and give you a test. It's not a hard test, mostly stuff like "write your full name" and "if you have 8 sheep and 3 get eaten, how many sheep are left?" and that kind of thing. When your brain is oxygen deprived, however, you can't even answer easy stuff like that. Shit, you can't even write your name correctly (I spelled my name 'Tayor'). That's how I feel now. I can't string two thoughts together. I think fruit is making me retarded.

So hippies, I'm curious to know exactly when I'll start feeling AMAAAZING. So far, I'm constantly starving, have a headache that won't quit, and I'm exhausted all day. I have to work tomorrow, and I'm not about to go dragging ass around my residents. I have homework and tests all due on Monday, and as it is now, I can hardly muster up the energy to keep Wormie from throwing all her diapers in the trash. Brain-thinkin' takes a lot of energy, and if I want to keep my grades up, I might have to eat a donut - YES a donut, only a donut will undo this fruit lethargy! - to give my brain some fuel.

Diet: Day Three

Day three. 129.3 lbs. That's a full pound less than yesterday. Feel the burn!

OK, there's not really any burn, unless you count the burning in my tummy. SO HUNGRY. I caved yesterday and ate some Chex Mix. Don't judge me! A single handful of Chex Mix filled me up more than an orange, a pear, and a bowl full of strawberries.

Today, I have had blackberries, raspberries, and pineapple. I'm doing fine so far, but man what I wouldn't do for a sammich.

Diet: Day Two, Part Two

No cheating today. So far.

One bonus of this diet thing I'm doing is that, as long as I eat only fruits and veggies, I can eat as much as I want.

The negative to that is fruits and veggies don't fill me up. This is like eating Chinese food, except I'm not even initially full. It feels like I'm not even eating anything.

In preparation for this diet, I went to the store and bought about $80 in fruit and veggies. I thought, "Eighty dollars? This ought to last me for a week, at least!"

Nope. At the rate I'm going through this rabbit food, it's all going to be gone by Saturday. AND I'M STILL HUNGRY. I don't think I can justify spending $160 for one week's worth of food, just for me. $160 for me and Jake and Wormie sounds acceptable, but not for just me.

Diet: Day Two

Yesterday wasn't as bad as I expected. That's probably because I forgot to get water at the store so I drank tea. We didn't have any ice and our tap water is AWFUL unless it's one degree short of frozen, so there was no way I was going to drink it without copious amounts of ice. While I was waiting for some ice to freeze, I drank some tea, and it was goooood.

130.3 lbs, down from 130.7. I don't count that as weight loss.

Diet: Day One

First day, so I don't think there will be too much reporting about how cranky I am. I'm feeling good so far. But that's going to end in a couple hours when I'm sitting in class and trying desperately not to fall asleep.

130.7 lbs

IT BEGINS.