Okay, so Wormie has figured out how to work the TV, so it's basically on all the time now. She watches shows like Oomie Zoomie (a math cartoon) and Dora the Explorer (and already knows more Spanish than I do), so I don't really mind.
Since the kid channels are on all the time, I'm exposed to a bunch of kid commercials.
First of all, who writes these songs? Someone went to college to be a songwriter and now they're writing assinine Barbie commercial jingles. I bet they die a little inside every time they hear the jingle, and then they drink the pain away. "I wanted to compose epic movie scores." *guzzle whiskey*
Second of all, I've been reliving toys of my childhood. One in particular was awesome because I could eat it. Easy-Bake Oven!
I read an article about the Easy-Bake Oven and how kids these days can't seem to figure out how to use the thing. Hasbro recalled a bunch because 29 kids got their fingers stuck in the oven and 5 of those kids got burned. Then Hasbro issued a retrofit kit that just made things worse.
I had an Easy-Bake Oven when I was a kid, and yeah I burned my fingers here and there, but I leared to use a goddamn oven mitt. If I had fucked up too much, my mom would have just taken it away from me because I was too stupid to use it. She wouldn't have written a letter to the company and demanded they recall it.
Also, where were these parents when their kid got burned? Supervision much? If Wormie was messing around with a toy that could make fire, I would be standing over her like some kind of mommycopter. Sorry, fire is where I draw the line.
So 29 kids got their fingers stuck in the Oven. 29 out of how many? Probably a bajillion. Maybe those 29 kids are too stupid to use the Easy-Bake Oven. If your kid can't figure out an oven, maybe your kid shouldn't be using an oven. Maybe they should just get a teddy bear instead. Don't ruin things for everyone else because your kid doesn't understand that you shouldn't shove your hands inside a hot oven.
