Fake Christmas Cards

We got the pictures from Saturday!

They're EXCELLENT.

I'm using one of these as our Christmas card this year. I've been trying to find a good one, and while perusing the 500+ photos, I came across a bunch that I fake-captioned for fake cards.

Camille's Quilt

I'm making a quilt for Camille!

I cut, pieced, and sewed the top myself.

Basted to the batting and backing.

Camille likes to pet the batting and then take off
running while giggling her ass off.

Quilting the squares.

The back.

So close to being done... so close...

Pictures!

We went to the Library on Saturday and had pictures taken. Today, the photographer posted a preview on FB and I LOVE THEM! I'm so excited to get the rest!

Skier Chic

It snowed last night!

I made Camille a new hat, so we went outside to test it out.

It's a little big, but whatevs. She'll grow into it.

It was bright out, so I put on her pair of sunglasses.

She looks like she's getting ready to hit the slopes!

"I CAIN'T SEE!"

The Poncho

I made Camille a poncho!

 The following pictures are blurry because she wouldn't hold still long enough for a clear one. She kept taking the poncho off and wearing it on her head.

I can't get this one to flip for some reason. So just turn your
head. Yes, like that. You look ridiculous.

CAMERA ATTACK

The Evil and Terrible Wish List

It's that time of year again.

Christmas.

All kinds of posts are popping up on parenting forums now. They all have the following gist:

"My in-laws asked what my kids want for Christmas this year, so I sent them a link to a wish list, and now they're all pissy at me."

Ladies and gentlemen, what the hell is wrong with wish lists?

I love wish lists. Everyone should have one. It would make buying gifts so much easier. I'd rather get someone something practical that they would LOVE and need, rather than getting some piece of crap gift that I thought was really cute but they think is really stupid, and promptly throw it away.

Gift-giving isn't about YOU. It's about the person you're buying the gift for.

For example: Camille is not allowed to have Disney Princess or Tinkerbell shit. I think the Princesses exhibit an unhealthy standard of beauty, and most of them are worthless twats. Tinkerbell is a backstabbing bitch, and will under no circumstances be allowed in my house lest she sell me out to pirates. Camille can have Princess stuff ONLY if she explains to me what about the Princess in question she finds good and worthy.

"Because she's pretty and can sing good," is not an acceptable answer regarding Belle.

"Because she's literate and doesn't like the town asshole just because he's hot," is an acceptable answer, sans the swearing.

In any case, I bring up the Princesses because if someone bought Camille any Princess stuff, I would throw it directly into the trash. To prevent this waste of money, I will tell people ahead of time, "Hey, don't buy Camille Disney Princess stuff, because I don't want her playing with it."

Seems reasonable to me.

Apparently, it's very rude.

Well, telling these people on the forums, these bastions of proper etiquette, to go Favre themselves in their proper Favre-holes is probably rude too, but I just did it.

So, I guess I'm the rude parent. Fine. But I'm OK with that. I'll be the rude parent of the girl who doesn't have self-esteem issues and can tell the cute jerk to go Favre himself while she's going to astronaut training on a full scholarship from the Awesomely Awesome Fund of Awesomeness.

Snow Day!

Today is the first day of REAL SNOW. It's snowing penguins and polar bears outside.

Last winter, Camille was too little to toss out in the snow. This year, she's just right!

So, I packed her into her snowpants and jacket...

Took her to the front door...

And set her loose in the snow!

She didn't know what to think at first. She just kind of stood there. But once she figured out that this white stuff was OK to walk in, she took off. She tripped once, and I stood her up.

Halloween

Camille was supposed to be Godzilla, and Jake and I were to be Japanese scientists, but I'm lazy and I didn't put together the costumes right. So instead, Camille was a dragon, and Jake and I were her handlers.

Rawr?

No dragon leaves her cave without a binky.

"OK, this is getting old."

We went to a Halloween party, and someone came dressed as a sock monkey. Naturally, he thought Camille would find his costume fun and cuddly. She has a sock monkey toy, so we thought the same thing.

That wasn't the case. She found it terrifying.

MY TOYS ARE GIANT AND ALIVE!

The assisted living facility where I work has a Halloween trick or treat thing every year. All of our residents get in a big line and hand out candy to kids that parade by. The residents love it, the kids love it, everyone loves it. So I took Camille.

She was so stoked to get candy. =|

After trick or treating with the old folks, we headed over to Jake's mom's house for pumpkin carving and general candy-fueled mischief.

Camille used her Auntie Jill as protection against Cash.

Just one more blackmail picture of them kissing.

Cash stole Camille's milk.

So Camille stole Cash's water.

They traded.

And traded again. And Cash tried to feed Camille
her milk.

Can you feel it? The dragon wrath descending? I can.

"I haz a punkin."