Those of you who have never been to prison before* probably aren't aware that they don't just stick you in a jail cell; you have to go through a little bit of an entrance process before you can enjoy your new cell and roommate/wife. One of the processes you have to endure is a cavity search. Yes, people, they pull your butt cheeks apart and inspect your rect(um).
When this homeless man had his rectal inspection performed, the police found quite a bit of contraband up his anus. The contents of his ass, all contained in a condom, are as follows:
17 round blue pills,
1 cigarette,
6 matches,
1 flint,
1 empty syringe with an eraser over the needle (safety first!),
1 lip balm container,
1 unused condom,
1 receipt from CVS pharmacy, and
1 paper coupon.
I know what you're wondering, and you should know that I'm wondering the same thing:
What's the coupon for?!
*I've never been to prison, either, but when I was in the military, one of the bases I was at thought it would be a good idea to take all of their new airmen on a tour of the base jail and regale us with tales of the horrific things you have to endure upon arrest. Presumably this was to deter us from committing crimes. It didn't work.
