Nobody Cares

I've spent all morning going through a site called EtiquetteHell.com. I was mostly there for stories of bridezillas,

THESE ROSES AREN'T LIPSTICK RED, THEY'RE FIRE ENGINE RED!!
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY WEDDING!??!!?

but they have sections for etiquette nonsense from every situation that a normal person could run into. I saw one entitled "Baby Showers," and I had to read it.


My baby shower (the Baby-Que) was a very informal affair held at Jake's mom's house, and we made all our own food and just hung out. No games, nothing stupid, just chilling. I got some awesome gifts, and while I didn't exactly make out like a bandit with enormously expensive items (I didn't even register for really expensive items), I still appreciated and have used everything I got. I was kind of worried that it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been, and I've been worried ever since that people didn't enjoy themselves.

Upon reading the EtiquetteHell.com's section on Baby Showers (and also Bridal Showers), I am no longer worried about the enjoyability of my baby shower. At least I didn't ask people to bring their own food, nor did I make them address their own thank-you notes or yell at anyone for not getting me a good enough gift.

For the record, if I got someone a baby shower gift and they yelled at me for it, I'd take it back right there and tell them to go fuck themselves. I believe I have a high tolerance for rudeness, mostly because I think some people are rude out of ignorance, but that kind of behavior is just ridiculous and unacceptable.

One of the EtiquetteHell.com's Baby Shower stories ended with the author writing the following:

"My fiancé and I decided to go visit my family for Spring Break and his sister was livid because "What if the baby is born while you're down there? You HAVE to be there when the baby is born!" Why does he need to be there? We'd planned this trip BEFORE she got pregnant! He flat out told her he'd had enough of her and the baby nonsense and when that baby was born he could visit her ANY TIME! So, we went on vacation. I'm assuming as payback we were not informed of the baby's birth until my fiancé's mom called us TWO hours after the baby had been born! She had forgotten but had managed to call my fiancé's half sisters and Maggie's best friend! My fiancé was so angry! Then at about midnight, Maggie calls and informs us of the child's birth. My fiancé tells her that he had already been informed and that we were sleeping. I was angry to be able to hear Maggie's response "Who the h*ll can sleep when a baby has just been born?!" Well, we'd been awake since you'd been induced and NEVER got a call about what was going on! We were utterly exhausted!"

In essence, the sister-in-law was pissed because the author and her beau decided to keep the vacation plans they had made since before sister-in-law got pregnant, which happened to fall right around the time the baby was supposed to be born. When the baby finally was born, the sister-in-law called the author and beau at midnight to inform them (I'm assuming the baby was born earlier in the day, which would make a midnight call unacceptable), and when they said "yeah someone else told us, bye now, we're sleeping," the sister-in-law's reply was, "WHO THE HELL CAN SLEEP WHEN A BABY HAS JUST BEEN BORN?!"

This blog post is entitled "Nobody Cares," and here's why: above-mentioned sister-in-law, nobody cares about your baby.

I post here about Camille a lot, and I like posting about her, and I love her so much sometimes I feel like the love is going to get so big it's going to force my eyes to pop out of their sockets. But I realize that other people could give a shit what vaccine Camille got today or how cute her socks are or that she drools like a St. Bernard. I post about it mostly for my family and friends who are out of town and who would like to keep up with my life without having to call or e-mail me directly. With that said, I know people don't care, and I don't care that they don't care. Fine, don't care. It's no skin off my ass.

The whole "nobody cares" mentality is why I don't tolerate bitchy pregnant women or bridezillas. Nobody cares about your wedding/pregnancy. A million women before you have gotten married and had babies, and a million more will do the same damn thing. Your wedding and your baby are not special (unless you happen to birth the baby that will grow up to cure AIDS or cancer), and acting like your wedding/baby should be on everyone else's mind intolerably selfish.

Something I don't understand about bitchy preggos and bridezillas is, don't they realize that their bitchy behavior is going to degrade relationships? And over something that, in the long run, is actually very insignificant? A baby shower is very insignificant. A wedding is very insignificant. I can attest to the fact that the most memorable things about my wedding were the things that were unplanned.

Like this: instead of throwing rice and messing up the property of the people who hosted the event, I opted for native butterflies to be released instead, which would cause no mess and would also be good for the flowers on their property. The butterflies we ordered are refrigerated to force them to kind of hibernate so their trip is easier, and you're supposed to give them time to warm up before you open the box to release them. Well, apparently, we didn't give them enough time to warm up, because when we opened the box, only like three flew out, and the rest just sat there. The ones that did fly out didn't go far: they kind of flopped around on the ground. It was funny, though, and eventually they warmed up and flew around everyone during the reception.

I planned that wedding with the enjoyment of the guests in mind. Yeah sure, there were things in there that were "just for me," but I can't imagine getting ugly bridesmaids dresses on purpose, or having a cash bar, or serving only hors d'ouvres during the reception, or opening gifts during the reception, or not talking to any of the guests (those are all real examples of things that people wrote about on EtiquetteHell.com).

There is no excuse for being a bitch, not even being hormonally pregnant or stressed about wedding planning. I've been there and done that for BOTH of those things, and I managed to remain civil. You can, too. It's not an excuse!

On an unrelated note, Camille is now known at the pediatrician's office as "the baby with the hat." :)