MommyFear #1

To clarify, this is not my #1 fear about being a mom. It just happens to be the one I was thinking of at this juncture, and therefore is the one I'm blogging about today. There are many more that will no doubt be posted in the future, but I have to pace myself, AMIRITE?!

This episode of MommyFears is brought to you by the letter Q and the number I'm afraid of losing my identity as a not-mom.

What I mean by that is I don't want to become one of those women I see (in real life and around the Interweb) that seem to do NOTHING but kid stuff. Kid stuff drives me crazy. Kid stuff makes me want to pull my hair out. Kid stuff is nauseating.

I like my aquascaping and terrestrial gardening.

I like watching lewd cartoons.

I like listening to crazy homeless guys explain why, exactly, the government is trying to exterminate all domesticated cats (thank you, crazy homeless guy in Sarasota, for blessing me with a true-life example of what might be the weirdest conspiracy theory of all time).

I like wearing what I've worn since high school: jeans of the non-skinny variety, and a T-shirt with something silly printed on it, and some dirty old Chucks.

I like surfing the internet and laughing at dumb pictures and videos.

I like more stuff, but I won't torture you with the full list. But you get the gist, right? I like stuff, and I'm afraid that when the Beast arrives, I'm not going to have any time for my stuff anymore. And what's more, I feel like that fear makes me shallow and possibly a bad mommy. Already.

Then I see stuff like this:

And I don't feel quite as bad.

But still a little.