It's raining.
This displeases me greatly.
I love to swim. One of my new favorite things to do is SCUBA dive (not up here in the frozen northlands, however), and as long as the water is warm enough, I don't mind jumping into some H2O and having a little paddle around.
But I hate - HATE - being rained on.
Jake and I were in Key Largo on Halloween last year, diving. The boat took us out to the reef we were to dive upon, and the boat captain gave us the safety speech, and then he looked up behind us and said, "Oh, and those clouds look like they're coming at us. (pause while everyone turns to look at the stormclouds on the horizon) I don't see any lightning, so we're good to dive. It might be raining when you come up, but you'll all already be wet, so it doesn't matter!"
It mattered to me. We jumped in, terrorized fishies for an hour, and when we came up, it was indeed raining. Not too hard, but it's Florida, and Florida doesn't possess wimpy rain. Definitely no misting bullshit like there is in Utah. And it made me miserable. I poked my soaking wet head above the water, felt raindrops, and went back under.
I hate being rained on.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Snow, School, and Stuff
Hmmm it would appear that I'm averaging about a month or so between blog posts. Meh. I actually have a good excuse this time! I started school!
But before we get into schoolin', I have to rant a little bit about the weather here in Utah. It's May 6th, and I have to wear a jacket still. It snowed last week. SNOWED!!! I almost had a stroke when I got up and looked outside and saw snow on the ground. I had been planning to go out and get my car registered that day, but I didn't. It was my way of protesting the weather. Fuck that shit.
OK so, school... I changed my major. Yeah, yeah, I know, I change it like 5 times a semester. But this time, I'm (probably) going to stick with it.
Nursing.
Yes. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I did this for a few reasons. Namely, there is a nurse shortage, and there has been for years. Which is kinda surprising, because the nursing programs at all of the SLC schools (and probably most of the schools in the country) are full of nursing hopefuls. I think what probably happens is that these people go to nursing school, get their first job at a hospital or whatever, and decide they hate it after a few months, so they quit.
Another reason I moved to nursing is that it's a job I can do anywhere. Jake and I don't have to rock-paper-scissors over where we move for a job.
It will also be handy when we have the baby and Jake inevitably teaches it to do dangerous things. Less hospital visits = good thing.
So I'm in pre-nursing. More specifically, I'm taking a Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA) course at SLCC. Having the NA certification is a requirement for starting the nursing program at SLCC, so I'm going to do it before the baby comes and get it out of the way. It's a self-paced thing, so I can be done in a couple of months easy. Blah blah blah.
Oh, my little seedlings that I talked about in my last posting are now plants... kinda. The cucumbers are doing the best, by far. They're going bananas. The cilantro... not so good. The jalapenos... well, the ones that have lived this long are starting to do better. And the salvia is just gone. They were all doing fine, doing fine, doing fine, DEAD. Overnight DEAD. I blame the snow. All the tomatoes and basil are doing well. I tried to transplant a couple of the oregano and those died, but the ones I left alone are doing great. And the butterfly flower has really taken off.
I can finally feel the Beast kicking me. Most of the time, it's just little flicks and pokes, but once in a while it feels like s/he's going kung-fu ape wild all over the place. When Jake and I went and got the ultrasound, the Beast was wiggling around like crazy, which amused the doctor. It's a really good thing I don't want to know the sex, because the Beast wasn't giving it up that day. I would have been all kinds of bent out of shape had I wanted to know.
Oh... I can't end this blog without a rant at the dumb bitches at acertainbabyforum.com. Someone asked about the link between vaccinations and autism. Everyone pretty much answered that there have been so concrete studies linking the two, saying that the benefits of vaccines outweigh the risks, yadda yadda. OK whatever, I'm not bothered at the point, I'm just reading. Then I read that some chick has posted something along these lines:
It's irresponsible not to vaccinate your children. The fact that parents aren't vaccinating is contributing to more obscure childhood diseases having a re-emegence, such as smallpox and polio.
I had to comment. Fuckin' smallpox and polio?? SMALLPOX??? I did a quick search on the CDC website, to make sure I was getting my facts right, and I reported them to this lady:
Smallpox was declared eradicated in 1979 by the CDC and the WHO (World Health Org., not the band). It's extinct. No one gets vaccinated for it anymore. If you go to your doctor and request the smallpox vaccine for your kids, he's going to look at you like you're some kind of crazy person.
In 2007, there were 1,600 cases of polio WORLDWIDE. The CDC reports that polio currently exists in a wild state (meaning you can catch it from your workplace/school/terrorist training camp) in four countries: Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, and Nigeria. 98% of all polio cases come from these countries, with the other 2% occurring in countries that infected Afghanis/Pakistanis/Indians/Nigerians travel to.
I waited patiently for a response, and I got one. She said she hadn't meant smallpox, she had meant measles (because they're so similar and easily confusable), and she said that ACTUALLY in the UNITED STATES, something called the VDPV (Vaccine-Derived Poliovirus) was being spread because of parents not vaccinating their kids.
I twitched. I actually twitched. Even without looking it up, the very definition of VDPV revolves around those first two letters: Vaccine-Derived. Derived from the vaccine. Coming from the vaccine. Caused by the vaccine.
I Googled it. Apparently, there are two types of polio immunizations: the kind that gets injected to you via needle and syringe, and the kind that involves you swallowing drops of the vaccine. The needle immunization contains dead poliovirus, but the mouth drops are weakened, half-dead but still alive poliovirus. It's kinda like the flu shot we all get. If you get the shot itself, you usually don't get sick. But if you get that goddamn nasal spray (which contains live cultures), you can actually get sick. Do you get the actual flu? No. You get "flu-like symptoms," which won't kill you if you're a normal person. If you have AIDS or something, it might kill you, but most doctors aren't reckless enough to give a live-culture vaccine to immuno-compromised peoples.
So, if you get the mouthdrop polio vaccine as a kid and you have a compromised immune system, you could contract this VDPV. However, VDPV is NOT polio, at least not the kind we all picture in our heads (with the crippling and the wheelchairs). It can be cured very easily by a supplemental vaccine once diagnosed.
According to the website polioeradication.org, between 1997 and 2007, there were less than 200 cases of VDPV in the world, none of which were in the US.
According to the CDC, an immuno-compromised infant in Minnesota was found to have had VDPV in 2005. They reported that it probably caught the virus from someone outside of the United States, since the USA hasn't used the mouthdrop vaccine since 2000.
Either way, I consider ONE case of not-even-for-realsies-polio in an immuno-compromised baby hardly an outbreak due to parents not vaccinating. The moral of the story is, this girl is a fuckin' moron.
But before we get into schoolin', I have to rant a little bit about the weather here in Utah. It's May 6th, and I have to wear a jacket still. It snowed last week. SNOWED!!! I almost had a stroke when I got up and looked outside and saw snow on the ground. I had been planning to go out and get my car registered that day, but I didn't. It was my way of protesting the weather. Fuck that shit.
OK so, school... I changed my major. Yeah, yeah, I know, I change it like 5 times a semester. But this time, I'm (probably) going to stick with it.
Nursing.
Yes. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I did this for a few reasons. Namely, there is a nurse shortage, and there has been for years. Which is kinda surprising, because the nursing programs at all of the SLC schools (and probably most of the schools in the country) are full of nursing hopefuls. I think what probably happens is that these people go to nursing school, get their first job at a hospital or whatever, and decide they hate it after a few months, so they quit.
Another reason I moved to nursing is that it's a job I can do anywhere. Jake and I don't have to rock-paper-scissors over where we move for a job.
It will also be handy when we have the baby and Jake inevitably teaches it to do dangerous things. Less hospital visits = good thing.
So I'm in pre-nursing. More specifically, I'm taking a Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA) course at SLCC. Having the NA certification is a requirement for starting the nursing program at SLCC, so I'm going to do it before the baby comes and get it out of the way. It's a self-paced thing, so I can be done in a couple of months easy. Blah blah blah.
Oh, my little seedlings that I talked about in my last posting are now plants... kinda. The cucumbers are doing the best, by far. They're going bananas. The cilantro... not so good. The jalapenos... well, the ones that have lived this long are starting to do better. And the salvia is just gone. They were all doing fine, doing fine, doing fine, DEAD. Overnight DEAD. I blame the snow. All the tomatoes and basil are doing well. I tried to transplant a couple of the oregano and those died, but the ones I left alone are doing great. And the butterfly flower has really taken off.
I can finally feel the Beast kicking me. Most of the time, it's just little flicks and pokes, but once in a while it feels like s/he's going kung-fu ape wild all over the place. When Jake and I went and got the ultrasound, the Beast was wiggling around like crazy, which amused the doctor. It's a really good thing I don't want to know the sex, because the Beast wasn't giving it up that day. I would have been all kinds of bent out of shape had I wanted to know.
Oh... I can't end this blog without a rant at the dumb bitches at acertainbabyforum.com. Someone asked about the link between vaccinations and autism. Everyone pretty much answered that there have been so concrete studies linking the two, saying that the benefits of vaccines outweigh the risks, yadda yadda. OK whatever, I'm not bothered at the point, I'm just reading. Then I read that some chick has posted something along these lines:
It's irresponsible not to vaccinate your children. The fact that parents aren't vaccinating is contributing to more obscure childhood diseases having a re-emegence, such as smallpox and polio.
I had to comment. Fuckin' smallpox and polio?? SMALLPOX??? I did a quick search on the CDC website, to make sure I was getting my facts right, and I reported them to this lady:
Smallpox was declared eradicated in 1979 by the CDC and the WHO (World Health Org., not the band). It's extinct. No one gets vaccinated for it anymore. If you go to your doctor and request the smallpox vaccine for your kids, he's going to look at you like you're some kind of crazy person.
In 2007, there were 1,600 cases of polio WORLDWIDE. The CDC reports that polio currently exists in a wild state (meaning you can catch it from your workplace/school/terrorist training camp) in four countries: Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, and Nigeria. 98% of all polio cases come from these countries, with the other 2% occurring in countries that infected Afghanis/Pakistanis/Indians/Nigerians travel to.
I waited patiently for a response, and I got one. She said she hadn't meant smallpox, she had meant measles (because they're so similar and easily confusable), and she said that ACTUALLY in the UNITED STATES, something called the VDPV (Vaccine-Derived Poliovirus) was being spread because of parents not vaccinating their kids.
I twitched. I actually twitched. Even without looking it up, the very definition of VDPV revolves around those first two letters: Vaccine-Derived. Derived from the vaccine. Coming from the vaccine. Caused by the vaccine.
I Googled it. Apparently, there are two types of polio immunizations: the kind that gets injected to you via needle and syringe, and the kind that involves you swallowing drops of the vaccine. The needle immunization contains dead poliovirus, but the mouth drops are weakened, half-dead but still alive poliovirus. It's kinda like the flu shot we all get. If you get the shot itself, you usually don't get sick. But if you get that goddamn nasal spray (which contains live cultures), you can actually get sick. Do you get the actual flu? No. You get "flu-like symptoms," which won't kill you if you're a normal person. If you have AIDS or something, it might kill you, but most doctors aren't reckless enough to give a live-culture vaccine to immuno-compromised peoples.
So, if you get the mouthdrop polio vaccine as a kid and you have a compromised immune system, you could contract this VDPV. However, VDPV is NOT polio, at least not the kind we all picture in our heads (with the crippling and the wheelchairs). It can be cured very easily by a supplemental vaccine once diagnosed.
According to the website polioeradication.org, between 1997 and 2007, there were less than 200 cases of VDPV in the world, none of which were in the US.
According to the CDC, an immuno-compromised infant in Minnesota was found to have had VDPV in 2005. They reported that it probably caught the virus from someone outside of the United States, since the USA hasn't used the mouthdrop vaccine since 2000.
Either way, I consider ONE case of not-even-for-realsies-polio in an immuno-compromised baby hardly an outbreak due to parents not vaccinating. The moral of the story is, this girl is a fuckin' moron.
Friday, April 2, 2010
April Not-Quite-Fool's
I'm pretty sure that in my first post, I mentioned that I'm terrible at being a consistent blogger. So the fact that it's been over a month since my last post shouldn't surprise any of you fuckers!
OK, 15 weeks 2 days along now. My last post was ranting about fat ladies who use their fledgling pregnancy as an excuse to be heifers. Alas, now, I am a fat heifer. I haven't weighed myself in a while - mostly out of laziness - but I'm going to put my weight at... 125 lbs. Actually, let me go weigh myself now.
BRB.
Ok back. 123.6 lbs. BAM! Take that, fat bitches!
My stomach is definitely sticking out. I've stopped trying to suck it in, mostly because that makes the ever-present feeling of "I need to pee" intensify, and also because it doesn't do a lot of good. Another place that's noticeably bigger? My tits. Jake noticed, too. -.-
Nausea has mostly gone away, but not entirely. It gets bad in the car and if I smell or think about certain foods, like olives, hot dogs, or hamburgers. Barf.
I got some herbs and seeds today to start an herb/veggie/butterfly garden. Rosemary and lavender have been potted and put in the living room. They're already making the apartment smell better. The apartment doesn't smell bad so much as it just smells hfwefwgfwfhajwopq. Every time I walk in, I go, "Ick, it stinks in here." It stinks of new carpet and air freshener. It's supposed to warm up soon, I HOPE, so I can start opening windows to air out that smell.
Current favorite foods are: Ghirardelli caramel-filled chocolate squares, white cheddar Pirate's Booty, fresh strawberries, and red grapes. Mmmm...
OK, 15 weeks 2 days along now. My last post was ranting about fat ladies who use their fledgling pregnancy as an excuse to be heifers. Alas, now, I am a fat heifer. I haven't weighed myself in a while - mostly out of laziness - but I'm going to put my weight at... 125 lbs. Actually, let me go weigh myself now.
BRB.
Ok back. 123.6 lbs. BAM! Take that, fat bitches!
My stomach is definitely sticking out. I've stopped trying to suck it in, mostly because that makes the ever-present feeling of "I need to pee" intensify, and also because it doesn't do a lot of good. Another place that's noticeably bigger? My tits. Jake noticed, too. -.-
Nausea has mostly gone away, but not entirely. It gets bad in the car and if I smell or think about certain foods, like olives, hot dogs, or hamburgers. Barf.
I got some herbs and seeds today to start an herb/veggie/butterfly garden. Rosemary and lavender have been potted and put in the living room. They're already making the apartment smell better. The apartment doesn't smell bad so much as it just smells hfwefwgfwfhajwopq. Every time I walk in, I go, "Ick, it stinks in here." It stinks of new carpet and air freshener. It's supposed to warm up soon, I HOPE, so I can start opening windows to air out that smell.
Current favorite foods are: Ghirardelli caramel-filled chocolate squares, white cheddar Pirate's Booty, fresh strawberries, and red grapes. Mmmm...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Teh Interwebz Is Hear! Also, I Hate Fat Bitches.
YAY! I finally have Internet!
Jake and I moved into an apartment (townhouse technically), and we've been here for almost a week with NO INTERNETS. I know, it's like, WTF is this, a fuckin' Third World Country or something?? But today, the Comcast guy showed up and bestowed Interweb upon me, and there was much rejoicing.
Ok that's enough about Internet. Now, it's time to talk about fat people; namely, fat pregnant ladies.
Now, I understand that during a healthy pregnancy, a woman is supposed to gain between 25-35 pounds, depending. Obviously, that does not hold true for multiples. Shut up. I've resigned myself to the fact that in a few months, I'm going to gain back all that weight I lost over the summer, and then some. FUCK. Oh well, I'm going to bench press the baby in order to lose it all again.
I troll the forums on the acertainbabyforum.com website, mostly the forums for the ladies who are due in September 2010. We are all at about the same stage in our pregnancies. Good idea. There was a post that I saw yesterday that was entitled "BELLY SHOWING ALREADY???" and I just had to read it.
Here is the original post:
Hi everyone.
This is my first time posting. I am 9 weeks pregnant and it seems that I am showing already. I have always had a bit of a chubby tummy, I'm 5' 4" and 150lbs which I think is good for my height. All the books say that I shouldn't be showing at this point but I am. My belly has gotten bigger in the last few weeks and I've only gained 2 pounds. Everytime I look at my belly I'm excited to see it getting bigger but I'm worried it's not normal. I mean my whole belly is round and I think I look quite pregnant.
We haven't even told our families yet (I had an ectopic pregnancy last year so we are keeping it quiet until 3 months) so I'm a little worried someone is going to notice.
What about you ladies? When did you start showing?
It took every ounce of self-control that I possess to NOT post something along these lines:
Hi!
I'm 5'4", and the heaviest I've ever been in 140lbs, and I looked like Jabba the Hutt. At 9 weeks, your baby is an inch long. Your uterus is the size of a grapefruit. Those books are right! You're not showing! Your belly is sticking out because you're a fat fatty fat fat, not because of your baby. Do yourself AND your baby a favor and stop shoveling food into your mouth!
Alternately, you could be sticking out because you're bloated. Because that happens in pregnancy. Are you farting a lot? YES YOU ARE, DON'T FUCKING LIE.
HTH!
I didn't post it. Tanya is casting voodoo on me.
No one says anything like that, even politely. They all say, "Oh, me, too! I'm showing, too! Isn't it great! I'm 8 weeks along and I already bought maternity pants!" And I just want to scream, "YOU'RE ALL HEIFERS! Maternity pants already? Fucking seriously? Just admit it, you've had those pants for years because you have a FUPA and they're more comfortable than REAL PANTS. LOSE SOME WEIGHT, FATTIES!"
Hiss. Pant. Snort. Growl.
Soooo yeah. I'm 9 weeks and a day or something, and I weighed myself this morning. 117.1 lbs. Last time I weighed myself, I was like 119 something. I lost weight. It happens when you're too nauseous to eat anything. On that thread, I want to hug whoever invented Ginger Snaps. Those things are 100% magical. They taste like balls (spicy, gingery balls), but 4-5 of them make my nausea go away. I'll choke them down if they make the sickness stop. And they do, so I do.
I really want a hot dog today. There is a 5 Guys a few exits away. I wonder if Jake will spring for weenies for dinner...
Jake and I moved into an apartment (townhouse technically), and we've been here for almost a week with NO INTERNETS. I know, it's like, WTF is this, a fuckin' Third World Country or something?? But today, the Comcast guy showed up and bestowed Interweb upon me, and there was much rejoicing.
Ok that's enough about Internet. Now, it's time to talk about fat people; namely, fat pregnant ladies.
Now, I understand that during a healthy pregnancy, a woman is supposed to gain between 25-35 pounds, depending. Obviously, that does not hold true for multiples. Shut up. I've resigned myself to the fact that in a few months, I'm going to gain back all that weight I lost over the summer, and then some. FUCK. Oh well, I'm going to bench press the baby in order to lose it all again.
I troll the forums on the acertainbabyforum.com website, mostly the forums for the ladies who are due in September 2010. We are all at about the same stage in our pregnancies. Good idea. There was a post that I saw yesterday that was entitled "BELLY SHOWING ALREADY???" and I just had to read it.
Here is the original post:
Hi everyone.
This is my first time posting. I am 9 weeks pregnant and it seems that I am showing already. I have always had a bit of a chubby tummy, I'm 5' 4" and 150lbs which I think is good for my height. All the books say that I shouldn't be showing at this point but I am. My belly has gotten bigger in the last few weeks and I've only gained 2 pounds. Everytime I look at my belly I'm excited to see it getting bigger but I'm worried it's not normal. I mean my whole belly is round and I think I look quite pregnant.
We haven't even told our families yet (I had an ectopic pregnancy last year so we are keeping it quiet until 3 months) so I'm a little worried someone is going to notice.
What about you ladies? When did you start showing?
It took every ounce of self-control that I possess to NOT post something along these lines:
Hi!
I'm 5'4", and the heaviest I've ever been in 140lbs, and I looked like Jabba the Hutt. At 9 weeks, your baby is an inch long. Your uterus is the size of a grapefruit. Those books are right! You're not showing! Your belly is sticking out because you're a fat fatty fat fat, not because of your baby. Do yourself AND your baby a favor and stop shoveling food into your mouth!
Alternately, you could be sticking out because you're bloated. Because that happens in pregnancy. Are you farting a lot? YES YOU ARE, DON'T FUCKING LIE.
HTH!
I didn't post it. Tanya is casting voodoo on me.
No one says anything like that, even politely. They all say, "Oh, me, too! I'm showing, too! Isn't it great! I'm 8 weeks along and I already bought maternity pants!" And I just want to scream, "YOU'RE ALL HEIFERS! Maternity pants already? Fucking seriously? Just admit it, you've had those pants for years because you have a FUPA and they're more comfortable than REAL PANTS. LOSE SOME WEIGHT, FATTIES!"
Hiss. Pant. Snort. Growl.
Soooo yeah. I'm 9 weeks and a day or something, and I weighed myself this morning. 117.1 lbs. Last time I weighed myself, I was like 119 something. I lost weight. It happens when you're too nauseous to eat anything. On that thread, I want to hug whoever invented Ginger Snaps. Those things are 100% magical. They taste like balls (spicy, gingery balls), but 4-5 of them make my nausea go away. I'll choke them down if they make the sickness stop. And they do, so I do.
I really want a hot dog today. There is a 5 Guys a few exits away. I wonder if Jake will spring for weenies for dinner...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I'm a Bad Blogger
OK, what day is it... February 11th. Not quite a month, but still a while since the last post. Well, I moved, so I've been busy.
I drove to Salt Lake City. I left Sarasota on January 24th and made it to Baton Rouge that night. The next day, I went from Baton Rouge to San Angelo to see my besties Tanya and Hutch. I'm happy to report that Sophie didn't eat Starsky like I feared she would, but I think that's mostly because she was determined to make the cat love her. It didn't happen.
I stayed with Tanya and Hutch until Thursday, and then I set off for Flagstaff. About an hour out of San Angelo, I started driving through quite a nasty blizzard that lasted from Lubbock until Albuquerque. I went under 25 miles per hour most of the way. It was pretty weak. I didn't make it to Flagstaff like I planned, but instead overnighted in Albuquerque.
From Albuquerque, I drove to Salt Lake City. I made it in less time than I had planned (possibly because I was speeding juuuuust a little), but I didn't mind and neither did Jake. Sophie enjoyed finally being out of car, and her first order of business was to poop on the neighborhood church lawn.
While I was in Florida, I didn't have any kind of morning sickness or fatigue or anything, but while I was driving, it all hit me. Since I've been here, I've felt nauseous and blah all day. It's not really bad or anything, but definitely noticeable. It feels like perpetual carsickness, and it's annoying.
Well that's where I've been, but now I'm back. I haven't been experiencing mood swings or anything, but I'm definitely crabby in my head about stuff. Get ready for some rants!
I drove to Salt Lake City. I left Sarasota on January 24th and made it to Baton Rouge that night. The next day, I went from Baton Rouge to San Angelo to see my besties Tanya and Hutch. I'm happy to report that Sophie didn't eat Starsky like I feared she would, but I think that's mostly because she was determined to make the cat love her. It didn't happen.
I stayed with Tanya and Hutch until Thursday, and then I set off for Flagstaff. About an hour out of San Angelo, I started driving through quite a nasty blizzard that lasted from Lubbock until Albuquerque. I went under 25 miles per hour most of the way. It was pretty weak. I didn't make it to Flagstaff like I planned, but instead overnighted in Albuquerque.
From Albuquerque, I drove to Salt Lake City. I made it in less time than I had planned (possibly because I was speeding juuuuust a little), but I didn't mind and neither did Jake. Sophie enjoyed finally being out of car, and her first order of business was to poop on the neighborhood church lawn.
While I was in Florida, I didn't have any kind of morning sickness or fatigue or anything, but while I was driving, it all hit me. Since I've been here, I've felt nauseous and blah all day. It's not really bad or anything, but definitely noticeable. It feels like perpetual carsickness, and it's annoying.
Well that's where I've been, but now I'm back. I haven't been experiencing mood swings or anything, but I'm definitely crabby in my head about stuff. Get ready for some rants!
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