Pinch the Baby

I go to a mommy group every week (basically, mothers of children under 24 months get together and maintain sanity by interacting with adults... also, the babies get to play together), and this week, the nurse who runs it said taking pictures of your baby crying is a great way to document their personality. Only smiling pictures won't say much except, "There was someone dancing like an idiot behind the camera and the baby smiled at their antics." Crying baby pictures tell a different, sometimes cuter, story, like, "The baby was trying to eat cat food and I took it away so baby started crying."

I agree.

So I'm going to start taking pictures of Camille while she cries. I already kind of have one:

She's not quite crying yet, but it's coming! Holy shit, I think this picture is sooooo cute!

The trouble with that is she doesn't cry that much, and 99% of the time, picking her up makes her stop crying. Yes, I am lucky knockonwood don't hate. But I'm going to try my darndest to catch her crying on film memory stick, and if that means I have to antagonize her a little bit, so be it!

I'll probably just let Sophie lick her in the face. She hates that.

Hooking for the Holidays

It's not what you think!

Or maybe it is...

No. Wrong kind of hooking.

Correct kind of hooking.

(By the way, doing a Google image search of "Christmas hookers" will not land you the type of pictures you'd think it would. Neither does "Christmas prostitutes." That one I don't suggest searching if you have a weak stomach, or if you DO have a weak stomach, turn on your filter.)

Crochet! I'm addicted. I know what you're thinking: "Crochet? My grandma crochets. That's an old lady thing to do."

Betty White = old lady
Betty White = freaking metal
therefore
old ladies = freaking metal

Granted, old ladies do excel at crochet. My own grandmother was a crochet ninja. She tried to teach me how to crochet when I was like 10 or something, but I was too impatient. Crocheting into the chain sucks enough for me as an adult, but as a kid it was nigh impossible.

Though it's an old lady thing to do, crocheting (and also knitting, which I also do) is awesome. I made some stuff, of which I am super proud of. Behold:

If you said, "That stuff is sweet!" then high-five! It is pretty sweet. And I made it all.

If you said, "Lame," then fuck you!

If you said, "That's it?" then also fuck you! I crocheted up all that stuff in a little over two weeks, because I'm a maniac. Also because I'm unemployed and we got rid of cable but mostly because I'm a maniac!

O Twimmus Twee

Nothing incredibly fancy. But here's our Christmas tree, nonetheless! I hope I remember to water it.  >_>

Gratuitous Naked Baby Bathtime Pics

OK, there really isn't any nudity. I'm secretly afraid that if I post naked bathtime pics on my blog, some child molester is going to see them and start thinking impure thoughts. And that idea both scares and enrages me. So no naked baby pictures.

Even though there's no nudity, they're pretty adorable anyway!

Almost a naked bathtime pic... but not quite!

She got upset that we were apparently taking
too long to get her dressed.

Gravity?

In thinking of the name for this post, I came up with Gravity, and now I have the song by John Mayer stuck in my head I think it's John Mayer, anyway. GTFO!

Anywho, the point of gravity with the question mark as a post title is this: I'm wondering if it's the answer to the question that I'm going to pose

right

now:

Camille is done nursing in 10 minutes or less when I'm sitting up, but she hangs out for 30-40 minutes if I'm laying down. I'm wondering if sitting up is faster/easier because gravity is doing most of the work for her? (<--- that's the question) 

I don't know, and the world may never know, just like the epic ponder, "How many licks does is take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

If you're too young to remember that commercial, please get off my blog and back to listening to your Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus.

As an aside, and on a completely different topic, I just became offended on behalf of the Persian people because that no-talent assclown of a teenybopper Miley Cyrus has the same name as the greatest Persian shah of all time, Cyrus the Great. What a tragedy. If Ahmadinejad should be pissy about anything, it should be that, not this silly nuclear thing. Also, his eyes are too close together.

It's creepin' me out.