Hooking for the Holidays

It's not what you think!

Or maybe it is...

No. Wrong kind of hooking.

Correct kind of hooking.

(By the way, doing a Google image search of "Christmas hookers" will not land you the type of pictures you'd think it would. Neither does "Christmas prostitutes." That one I don't suggest searching if you have a weak stomach, or if you DO have a weak stomach, turn on your filter.)

Crochet! I'm addicted. I know what you're thinking: "Crochet? My grandma crochets. That's an old lady thing to do."

Betty White = old lady
Betty White = freaking metal
therefore
old ladies = freaking metal

Granted, old ladies do excel at crochet. My own grandmother was a crochet ninja. She tried to teach me how to crochet when I was like 10 or something, but I was too impatient. Crocheting into the chain sucks enough for me as an adult, but as a kid it was nigh impossible.

Though it's an old lady thing to do, crocheting (and also knitting, which I also do) is awesome. I made some stuff, of which I am super proud of. Behold:

If you said, "That stuff is sweet!" then high-five! It is pretty sweet. And I made it all.

If you said, "Lame," then fuck you!

If you said, "That's it?" then also fuck you! I crocheted up all that stuff in a little over two weeks, because I'm a maniac. Also because I'm unemployed and we got rid of cable but mostly because I'm a maniac!