34 Weeks

A day late, once again. But this time, I have an excuse! I didn't want to blogify while Marjory was in town. So eat it.

I took my CNA written exam on Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to discuss the actual content of the test, lest I be accused of cheating, but I don't think the following statement would be considered cheating:

Whoever wrote the Utah CNA exam needs to go back to test-writing school.

>:|

There were several questions (about 15 out of 100) that had two right answers. And I'm not talking about, "Well, for practicality's sake, both of these answers are correct, but the book says it's this one, so the correct answer is this one." Nor am I talking about, "Two are right but one is more right."

I'm talking about, "Oh wow, two of these answers are verbatim from the book, and both are 100% correct." So there was a lot of eenie-meenie-miney-moe going on. And I really don't like doing that on a test, ESPECIALLY a test I had to pay cash monies for.

They said I should get my result in 5-10 bidnis days. So in a couple of days, I'm going to be going off about the CNA test, one way or another.

Tonight was my first Third Trimester Childbirth class at the hospital where I'm delivering. It was educational, entertaining, and the instructor is very cool. It would have been better if Jake had been there, though, because I was the only pregnant lady there without a dude. Mrrrrg.

Operation Unpack My Crap is complete. Well, as complete as it's going to get until Jake comes home and probably makes me toss more stuff. I halved the amount of junk that I own (should get one helluva tax credit for this year!) and I managed to consolidate my belongings into 10 large Rubbermaid containers. So yay for me! I was most excited about my DVDs. Now I just need a TV on which to watch them...

Oh yes, so, Marjory was in town. Marjory is one of my oldest friends. We've known each other since we were 10 or so, so it's been... 16 years. Hot damn, I'm old. A 16-year friendship is awesome, because we know so much about each other, and it is also sucky, because we know so much about each other. I'm very lucky Marjory is too classy to engage in blackmail.

And now... some pictures!

Marjory at Temple Square

Marjory making faces in Temple Square

Strikin' a pose at Silver Lake

Rescuing a Mountain Chickadee that ran into a tree

(the Chickadee is fine!)

She's hunting duckies!

Yours truly! And might I say: sweet Jesus, my face looks fat!

The Countdown Begins!

Jake will be home soon! I don't know for sure how soon, and if I did I wouldn't post it up anywhere, but I do know it will be soon.

For those of you who have never had to deal with military deployment schedules, "soon" can mean any time between an hour from now and a month from now. The military is also really wonderful about changing dates and times at the lastpossiblesecond. So if Jake was coming home, for example, on August 5th, I wouldn't be at all surprised if on August 4th, he called me and said, "Hey, we're coming home on the 6th now. No, wait, the 7th. Just kidding, it's the 8th. OK now it's the 5th again." And so on and so forth.

Operation Unpack My Crap has come to a halt, on account of extreme back pain. I don't think I've pulled anything or otherwise injured myself, but I'm definitely feeling more sore than usual. I'm giving myself a rest for a few days - at least until I can move without triggering a WTFPAIN attack - and then I'll start with the unpacking once more.

I have my Biology final on Wednesday, and my CNA practical exam tomorrow. I'm more nervous about the CNA exam, even though I did really well in the course. First of all, I'm afraid that I've forgotten everything, and secondly, I'm convinced that the stethoscopes they use there won't be as awesome as mine and therefore I won't be able to hear anything and I'll fail the vital signs portion of the test (scream-cry-flail). The last time I tried to use their stethoscopes, I couldn't even hear my OWN heartbeat. So... yeah. But Jake made a good point. He said there are other people passing, so the stethoscope can't be that bad. I guess he's right.

Operation: Unpack My Crap, Day Three

Today was a total bust as far as Operation Unpack My Crap was concerned.

My dad and I did, however, make it down to the LDS genealogy center to look up family history! My dad is the genealogy buff in our family, so I thought he'd get a kick out of the place. As it turns out, the Mormon church knows less about our family history than my dad has already been able to find on the Interwebs, but it was still cool to see all the info that they DID have, especially considering that my family has a large presence in one of the most historically anti-Mormon states in the USA, Missouri (and therefore, may or may not have been total dicks to the Mormons when they were there).

Anywho, after we finished surfing for porn on the genealogy computers, we decided it was time for lunch. There are two restaurants on the top floor of the building that the genealogy center is in, so we went up there and had lunch. My dad freaked the waitress out by asking what beer they had, but lunch was otherwise uneventful. The Beast liked the sammich I had so much that he kicked the bejesus out of my side for a couple of hours.

Operation Unpack My Crap was revisited for about 2 minutes when we got back from the genealogy center. I had to find the monitor for my computer. Very important stuff! I found my Wii and PS2 while I was at it. Now, if only I had a TV...

Operation: Unpack My Crap, Day Two

Here is my Facebook status update from midday yesterday:

"Operation Unpack My Crap is progressing nicely, but has spawned subsidiary operations, which include but are not limited to: Operation Kitchen Cleanup, Operation Lunchtime Noms, Operation Deseret Industries, and Operation Holy God I Have a Lot of Shoes."

And not long thereafter:

"Operation Lunchtime Noms is being augmented with Operation Militant Iranian Rooster."

And then:

"Operation Unpack My Crap moves into day two. Local influences are working against me. The Naptime Subterfuge is slowly chipping away at my resolve, and Operation Secret Construction Project is taking a lot longer than anticipated. We may have gotten in over our heads on this one."

Here is a rundown of the current progress of my various Operations.

Operation Kitchen Cleanup

I think we've pretty much unpacked all of my kitchen stuff. My dad is quite impressed with the amount of kitchenware and gadgetry that I own, and I'm just glad we managed to fit it all into the cupboards. It was a close fit, but we made it. Well, mostly. I still haven't found a home for my KitchenAid Mixer, but I will. Also, some of my fancier kitchen items - like the All-Clad serving dishes that I've never used because I've never considered an occasion to be fancy enough - still don't have homes because I keep them in their original packaging to avoid unnecessary damage to them. And I'm not getting rid of All-Clad. That's just crazy. I'll use them some day!

Operation Lunchtime Noms

The most successful operation thus far. It was such an incredible success yesterday, I decided to revisit it today.

Operation Militant Iranian Rooster

Operation Deseret Industries

Due to the slow progress of Operation Unpack My Crap, Operation Deseret Industries has been temporarily put on hold. However, we have a Deseret Box (that will soon be expanded to include two and possibly three boxes) that is awaiting the restart of this operation.

Operation Holy God I Have a Lot of Shoes

I do have a lot of shoes. I forgot how many I have. It's funny how I could go months without any of these shoes (almost a year, in fact), but then when I was picking through them, I found nearly all of them to be necessary keepers. I'm sure Jake will help me get rid of some, and some female friends will happily relieve me of the non-keepers.

Operation Secret Construction Project

I'm afraid I can't go into detail regarding this operation, due to its clandestine nature. Only those with a need to know will be given any information about this operation. And unfortunately for you, you don't have a need to know. So I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. And I don't want to have to do that. :(

Operation Unpack My Crap

The overall operation is moving along, just not as rapidly as we had hoped. Unforeseen complications and subsidiary operations have necessitated a deviation from previously planned activities. However, we are confident in the operation's future success and won't stop until this operation is complete!

So, there's my list of operations and their current statuses. I'd take another picture of my living room, but it looks mostly the same. There's some more wiggle room, but not much, and having a big fat belly isn't making squeezing by the boxes any easier. Pfffft thanks Beast!

Operation: Unpack My Crap...

...and Also Some Ridiculous Nonsense

My dad arrived on Thursday night with all of my worldly possessions in tow. Friday, two of Jake's (most awesomest) friends came over and helped us unload about a billion pounds of junk that I've been collecting ever since I left home in 2002.

Behold, my collection of junk!

This morning marks the beginning of Operation: Unpack My Crap. Hopefully we have a Mission Accomplished before I go bankrupt.

As far as the Ridiculous Nonsense goes, you may have noticed that my super cool background has been replaced with a message from Photobucket informing me that the file can no longer be found. >:| I find this to be unacceptable and will fix it as soon as I stop being lazy. Ha.

edit

I fixed my background. Whee!

Also, one of my friends posted this article on Facebook. It's too wonderfully magical to not share with everyone. If you don't know who the Westboro Baptist Church is, this picture defines them in a nutshell:

Yep. Total assholes. I rarely honestly hope that a large group of people all simultaneously die in a fire, but this is definitely one of those rare cases.