It's a Job Application, Not a Facebook Profile

I have a job.

I also have a baby.

So sometimes, life gets complicated.

Right now, Jake's youngest brother babysits Camille on my weekday work days (because Jake can watch her on the weekends). The place where I work has on-site childcare, but their wait list extends into September/October. Jake's brother goes back to school at the end of August. So, we have at least a month where we need a babysitter.


Jake and I have gone to several child care centers to see if we can get Camille in for care. A lot of them don't take babies under 12 months (which is stupid). The ones that do take babies have long wait lists. I feel weird asking friends to watch Camille, because it's a lot of work to take care of a baby, and I don't want them to feel like they have to say yes but really not want to do it and then secretly hate me.

At the suggestion of a friend, I started looking on care.com for a nanny.

There are a lot of professional, nice-looking, mostly women on there who really want to pursue a career in childcare and who would probably be excellent choices for Camille.

But sprinkled amongst these mature women are a bunch of dumb skanks who "really love kids omg!" and whose photo looks like it belongs on their Facebook profile, not on a professional childcare website (or any professional website, for that matter).

Seriously. I'm not hiring any of these bitches. If you clearly took this picture yourself with your phone, I don't want you in my house with my baby. Also, if you can't spell properly, I don't want you in my house with my baby. And if your only experience is that you babysit your neighbor's kids "like, all the time," then I don't want you in my house with my baby.

Sorry. Take a CPR course and then reapply.