The Beginning of the End

I decided to let the cat out of the bag on Facebook today. I hadn't before because... I dunno, just hadn't wanted to, really. I wanted to tell people a couple of weeks ago, but I made myself wait for today. Exercising my patience muscle is something that doesn't happen nearly enough, which may account for my nigh-uncontrollable road rage (P.S. Utah drivers, the on-ramp is there so you can SPEED UP!!!!!!!!!) Today is also the first day of my third trimester (squeal!), so I thought it would be most appropriate to announce my pregnancy on a day with meaning attached.

Don't judge me.

Here is the note I published on Facebook (for those of you who came here from Facebook, you get to read it twice!):

Fun and Exciting News from the Magical Land of Taylor

Today is a pretty important day. For me, at least. It's not because I had a Biology test this morning (which I'm pretty sure I did well on), nor because it's the last day in June (because that's not really important to anyone unless their birthday is the last day in June, or possibly the first day in July). And no, it's not even because today is the 74th anniversary of when "Gone With the Wind" was published. Why I know that is not important.

Today, friends, is important to me because today marks the beginning of the end; or more specifically, today is the first day of my third trimester.

That's right, bitches! I'm pregnant! And have been for a while. 28 weeks, to be exact.

If you didn't already know, don't get your panties in a wad. I didn't tell a lot of people. Those of you who are only just now finding out aren't less important than the people who have already known; you're just not as observant as them. Several people know because they saw a picture of me somewhere and said, "Hey, you gained weight. In one area. A very conspicuous area. Have anything to share?"

And now, the answers to some questions you may have:

Yes, I'm serious.

Yes, I am still annoyed by most children.

No, it wasn't planned (surprise!).

Yes, we're keeping Sophie. And she's afraid of the crib, so... yeah.

Yes, I really am serious.

No, we're not getting a damn minivan.

Yes, we will be selling it if it has blue eyes.

No, we don't know the sex and aren't going to find out ahead of time.

No, we haven't decided on names yet. And when we do, no, we aren't going to tell you.

Yes, duct tape is a perfectly acceptable baby shower gift.

Yes, I'm going to be a dirty hippie and do natural childbirth. Not at home or anything like that, but no epidural, etc. No, I don't want to hear your negative opinion on natural childbirth.

Yes, I'm still serious. This is not a joke.

No, no strangers have rubbed my belly yet. I think they can sense that I'd have no qualms punching them in the face if they did.

Yes, I'm going to finish school. Yes, I'm aware of how challenging that will be. No, I don't see a problem in letting Sophie babysit.

No, I haven't gotten gigantically fat.

Yes, I have had food aversions. Mainly black olives. Barf!!

I'm due on September 22nd, which is Jake's birthday. Wouldn't that be fun!? But we'll see. I'm not going to induce if I don't have to.

I've been keeping a blog re: being pregnant... http://go-team-boobies.blogspot.com/. You will observe that I went through a mean streak early on, but that settled out and now I'm mostly just sarcastic. This blog is where you'll be able to find pictures of the progression of my fatness, and also pics of the ultrasound.

So, that concludes the Fun and Exciting News! We now return you to your regularly scheduled Wednesday afternoon. ^_^

The end!

I'm impatient to see what people have to say about it. I think there might be a delay in commenting because the people who know me well are going to be convinced that it's an elaborate joke.

I'm Stupid Sometimes

I was planning the Baby-Que for Labor Day Weekend, so that the friends/family I have that live out of town could attend if they wanted to. How nice of me!

Anyway, I got the dates wrong. I Googled "Labor Day" to find the correct dates, and I definitely looked up the wrong year. So I was planning for an August 28th Baby-Que, when in fact Labor Daybor Weekend is the following weekend. Good thing I haven't ordered the invitations yet.

However, for everyone who has asked, we've told them the Baby-Que will be on Labor Day Weekend, not that it will be on August 28th. So everyone should have been thinking the correct dates all along. Just not me. Because apparently, I'm mental.

I Miss Jake

He's been gone for two weeks now, and I miss him a lot. Sophie misses him, too. She misses his farts most of all.

Thankfully, he won't be gone much longer. And with the Interweb, we can talk pretty much every day. I have to give props to long-distance relationships in pre-Internet times; they must have been rough.

The Name Game

Over on the right side, I have listed the names that Jake and I have agreed on thus far.

Not many. I know.

We'll both get on the Interweb and look up names, suggesting the ones we like. For 99% of said mentioned names, the response is normally, "That name sounds stupid."

Like, Jake suggested Avner for a boy. He did so after watching a movie about some Israeli assassin, whose name was Avner. I said no to Avner, on the grounds that it reminded me of a pig for some reason. I don't know why, but when I hear Avner, I think of a pig. I'm not naming my kid after a pig.

I suggested Gallagher for a boy. Jake said no. I don't think he gave a real reason, other than he didn't like the way it sounded. Fair enough.

For a while, we had Naomi on the girl list. I think it's a pretty name! Jake did, too, until he figured out that if you spell Naomi backwards, it says "I moan." Then he decided he didn't like it. Sigh.

I think our short list of names is better than a really long one, though. We don't have much to narrow down. And I'd be happy with any of those names, really. That's why they're on the list: because we can both envision screaming that name at a wayward child.

Middle names have already been selected, but are not listed anywhere. They're a surprise! And I think when Jake and I finally get the names completely figured out and agreed upon, we're not going to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to judge the name I pick, first of all, and it's also another way for me to kind of keep this more personal for me. If only Jake and I know the name, and are the first ones to know the gender, it makes it more special. ^_^

I Was Going to Blog, But...

...I forgot what I wanted to blog about.

So I'm going to blog about not being able to remember ANYTHING.

I suppose it's common to pregnancy to become afflicted with what is referred to as "pregnancy brain." I'm not sure what the technical term is, or indeed if it's even a recognized pregnancy ailment. Wait! The Google will tell me.

OK, according to the Mighty Google, pregnancy brain (also called mommy brain, pregnancy amnesia, or momnesia) may or may not be real. Chemically, say researchers, a pregnant woman's brain doesn't change during or after pregnancy.

However, the lack of sleep that IS a bona fide pregnancy ailment may play a part in preggo-brain. Everyone knows that if you go for a while without getting sleep, your brain is kind of wuzzy. You just feel like your brain isn't quite on, like it's operating at half-capacity. And that is definitely happening to me.

For instance, I know everyone has walked into a room and forgotten why they walked in. That's happened to everyone at some point in their life. I'll do that, but then I'll forget where I came from, so then I'll have to wander throughout the apartment, looking for evidence of where I just was.

The other day, I went to Target for the sole purpose of getting a gift bag in which to place a gift. When I got to Target, I bought shoes, a new purse, and spent about half an hour sifting through greeting cards (for no one in particular). I left Target, and didn't realize until I was ALREADY HOME that I hadn't gotten the one thing that I had needed.

My Biology class is getting progressively more difficult, but I don't think the actual class content itself is getting harder. I just can't remember shit, so it's taking me twice as long to grasp concepts. I took a quiz the other day and misread a question: what binds to the outside of a G protein-linked receptor, and what binds to the inside? Well, I thought it meant, what binds to the in/outside of the receptor itself, and I freaked out. What does? I don't know! Did we even go over that? Do things even bind to the inside of those proteins? I thought they were just channels... blah blah blah. Then I realized that the question wanted to know what bound to the protein that was sticking outside and inside the CELL, and I felt dumb. Really dumb.

I got the answer right, by the way.

Forgetting everything isn't the only symptom of baby brain drain. I will also do very strange things for no reason at all. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I tried to flush the toilet by flipping the bathroom light switch. And just today, I walked to the bathroom, closed the door, unzipped my sweater, and sat down on the toilet. Fortunately, I didn't pee my pants. I realized that I needed to unzip more than my sweater if I was to successfully make peeps. Which I did. Yay.