The Evil and Terrible Wish List

It's that time of year again.

Christmas.

All kinds of posts are popping up on parenting forums now. They all have the following gist:

"My in-laws asked what my kids want for Christmas this year, so I sent them a link to a wish list, and now they're all pissy at me."

Ladies and gentlemen, what the hell is wrong with wish lists?

I love wish lists. Everyone should have one. It would make buying gifts so much easier. I'd rather get someone something practical that they would LOVE and need, rather than getting some piece of crap gift that I thought was really cute but they think is really stupid, and promptly throw it away.

Gift-giving isn't about YOU. It's about the person you're buying the gift for.

For example: Camille is not allowed to have Disney Princess or Tinkerbell shit. I think the Princesses exhibit an unhealthy standard of beauty, and most of them are worthless twats. Tinkerbell is a backstabbing bitch, and will under no circumstances be allowed in my house lest she sell me out to pirates. Camille can have Princess stuff ONLY if she explains to me what about the Princess in question she finds good and worthy.

"Because she's pretty and can sing good," is not an acceptable answer regarding Belle.

"Because she's literate and doesn't like the town asshole just because he's hot," is an acceptable answer, sans the swearing.

In any case, I bring up the Princesses because if someone bought Camille any Princess stuff, I would throw it directly into the trash. To prevent this waste of money, I will tell people ahead of time, "Hey, don't buy Camille Disney Princess stuff, because I don't want her playing with it."

Seems reasonable to me.

Apparently, it's very rude.

Well, telling these people on the forums, these bastions of proper etiquette, to go Favre themselves in their proper Favre-holes is probably rude too, but I just did it.

So, I guess I'm the rude parent. Fine. But I'm OK with that. I'll be the rude parent of the girl who doesn't have self-esteem issues and can tell the cute jerk to go Favre himself while she's going to astronaut training on a full scholarship from the Awesomely Awesome Fund of Awesomeness.